Posts tagged ‘Children’

I got off work early last Saturday.  One of the local hospitals just completed a multi-million dollar, multi-year construction project, and was offering tours, so I decided it would be interesting to check things out.  I must admit, my motives were rather self-serving.  As a parent of a child with severe food allergies (he has a whole list of things that will cause anaphylactic shock), I wanted to see the new facilities designed specifically to hold the Children’s Hospital.  I hope I never have to see them again, but it is comforting knowing they are there.  I also took the three-year-old with me.  He has lived most of his life with “If you eat that, you will have to go to the hospital,” and I wanted him to have a familiarity with the facilities in a non-threatening situation.

The tour took a little over an hour, and we walked forever, but we saw some of the most amazing things!  All the patient areas where a child might be a patient are accessible only by a key card issued by the hospital, so no one can get in without pre-approval.  On the one hand, it might be a bit much.  I mean, the reason children being snatched from hospitals makes such big headlines is it almost never happens.  On the other hand, when it happens it makes big headlines, so I can understand the hospitals wanting to err on the side of caution.  Anyway, because of the key-card access limitations, once the new building goes into use, none of these spaces will ever be open to just look at again.

The tour started in the lobby, then went to the top patient floor and worked its way back down.  We did skip one floor – the second – which the hospital has left as an empty shell, in preparation for future expansion.  For the time being it will not be used.  And we did not get to see the roof with its two new heliports, but you can see it on the website.  (SPOILER ALERT – The audio was not properly synced with the video when I checked out the virtual tour last time, so you see stuff before you hear about it.  It is really annoying.)  The 6th floor will be General Pediatrics, kids who are hospitalized for this or that or the other thing.  When the three-year-old was in the hospital for the flu, General Peds is where we stayed.  All the rooms are private, so the kids have space to spread out, and there are empty picture frames on the walls that have openings in the top for kids to drop in their own artwork.   There are two Child Life Centers – AKA playrooms – on each children’s floor, one for teens and one more geared toward littler kids.  All of the Child Life Centers are designated as treatment-free, meaning that they will be a safe zone for the kids, away from needles, or medications, or vitals checks.  They also have classrooms where the kids can catch up on homework and assignments that they are missing while in the hospital.

The 5th floor is an adult cardiac unit.  In addition to all the things you would expect on a cardiac floor, the hospital has also installed an internet network that is accessible in every patient room, so that patients and their families can keep up with their online life.  This floor does not have the key-card requirements, like the child floors do, but there is a check-in area just outside the elevators where visitors will have one last stop before they see the patient.  On this floor, there is a difference in the ventilation system, as well.  On on the children’s floors, the air-flow in the rooms is designed to “blow” out through the door, so any germ in the room are moved away from the smaller patients, who may have compromised or not-fully-developed immune systems.  On the cardiac floor, the ventilation is reversed so the air “blows” INTO the room.  This helps keep any germs a patient may bring into the hospital with him or her, rather than spreading to other cardiac patients.

On the 4th floor Pediatric Critical Care Unit, each room has a movable pillar suspended from the ceiling.  In these pillars are all the connections you would normally find on the wall near the head of the bed.  The pillars allow for the rooms to be “rearranged” for kids who may be spending a longer visit in the hospital and would otherwise get bored with their rooms.  Special rooms for child cardiac patients and the St. Jude patients are also located here.

The 3rd floor is the new Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit.  The NICU is massive compared to the current facilities.  Where currently there are 6 incubators to a room, the new unit will have one incubator per room and a sofa bed for the parents if they want to sleep in the room with their baby.  They also have additional “bedrooms” for the parents just down the hall, in case they want to sleep for a while away from the machines, or if the parents want to “trade off” – one in the patient room while the other sleeps in the bedroom.  The NICU will be able to house up to 60 infants at a time in seven different “neighborhoods” that are color-coded to help parents and loved ones find the right room more quickly.

On the main floor will be admitting, outpatient testing, a gift shop, and a Family Life center – phones, computers, a kitchen and even laundry facilities for families of patients to carry out some of their normal, day-t0-day activities while staying close.  Downstairs is the cardiac and pediatric operating rooms.  I’ve never before seen the inside of an operating room, but these are really cool – or hot as the case may be.  The cardiac surgical suites can be cooled down to 60 degrees in a matter of minutes to help slow blood flow during surgery, while the pediatric suites can have their temperatures raised to 90 degrees to help premies and other infants maintain their body temperatures during surgery.  Additionally, all the electronics for all the equipment are now just outside the operating rooms, separated by a large plate glass window.  Having the electronic equipment out of the room helps keep the room temperature steady.

Overall, the most impressive thing about the tour was how well-behaved the three-year-old was throughout the whole thing, even not having a nap that day.  The guides kept us moving at a quick enough pace that he didn’t have time to get bored, and almost every time we stopped to get a dose of information, there were places for him to sit down, and lots and lots of play tables!  Several older ladies were in our group, and kept commenting on how good my little boy was being.  They just could not get over how polite and patient he was being.  When we got to the end of the tour and they gave us free t-shirts, he was so excited!  You would have thought it was a big batch of gummy bears.  All in all, if I ever have to be in the hospital again, I hope it is there.  Even if I don’t get a free t-shirt.

I bought a new CD recently of music of India.  As a rule, I am always open to new music, but generally I will not seek out anything beyond my realm of experience without some sort of push.  I happened to hear part of the CD one day when I was out and about, and liked what I heard enough to go ahead and buy it when I found it.  I have been listening to it in the car, and the more I listen, the more I realize I really like this CD.  Don’t worry, I am going to stop here on the gushing about the CD.  This is not a commercial and I am not endorsing that you need to go buy a copy for yourself.  Just wanted to give you the context.


The first track on the CD is a song about the strength of women and how, historically, women of the eastern countries have been repressed and oppressed:


Behind every great man, there is a great woman
But as Jasmine never blossoms in the shade,
So woman’s potential can be left to wither away,
Unfulfilled, when standing in the shadow of man
Still, women of the east have stood strong
and fought hard throughout time.
The determined intelligent strength of a woman,
emanating from the inside out.


This got me thinking about how I have downplayed my own potential in the past, and how my choices have affected my life.  Sort of the “Knowing what I know now, if I had it to do all over again, what would I do differently” dilemma.  I think everyone has, at one time or another, asked this question of themselves.  It is very easy to ask the question.  It is far more difficult to answer it honestly, no holds barred.  That requires that we take a long, hard look at ourselves and the mistakes we have made in the past.  Were the lessons that we learned from those mistakes valuable enough to justify the pain we caused ourselves?  Were they valuable enough to justify the pain we caused others?  Could we have learned those lessons in any other way?  One that would have been less excruciating?  And if we did, would the lessons have meant as much to us?  Would they have made as much of an impression?

I know that, if it weren’t for the experience I had during my first marriage, I probably would not be married to the man I am married to now.  The “bad” experiences we each had in our first marriages prepared us and taught us what we should look for in a potential mate.  It also taught us what to avoid.  I think I am ultimately happier now, even when “bad” things happen at home, because of the difficulties I had in my first marriage.  Would I have preferred to be able to learn those lessons without the “benefit” of my first marriage?  Of course I would have.  Would the lesson have meant as much to me?  Probably not.

On the flip side of all of this, I am watching my older children, on the threshold of adulthood, preparing themselves to make some of the same mistakes I made when I was about their age.  On the one hand, I can see the mistakes looming ahead of them, and I know the potential horror awaiting if the wrong choice is made, and I want to spare them any pain I possibly can.  I want to tell them they are about to make terrible mistakes, and I want them to actually listen to what I have to say about it and hear the dangers ahead.  On the other hand, I know that the chances of them listening are slim and none, and Slim has moved to Marrakesh.  I know that, without falling down, they will never learn how to get back up on their own, and I know that without severe pain, they will never be able to truly appreciate the great joys that life can offer them.  So, I am going to do the only thing the situation will allow me to do.  I am going to talk to them until I am blue in the face.  Even when they are frustrated and disgusted and tired of listening, I am going to keep talking.  I am going to tell them all the mistakes I made and the consequences of those choices.  I am going to pray that even a small fraction of what I say will actually sink in and have some effect.  I am going to buy stock in tissues and wait for the day they come home, awakened, disillusioned, and defeated, and I am going to tell them that “This, too, shall pass.”  And knowing all this, I just wish, in a very selfish way, that I didn’t love them as much as I do, because seeing their hearts breaking will kill mine, and no matter how much they hurt, I will hurt 1,000% more, because I knew it was coming.  And, until then, I am going to pray with every ounce of my being that, this time, I will be wrong.

Every afternoon, there is a moment when I have to broach the subject of “nap” with the 3-year-old.  The target time is 2:00, but sometimes it can be as late as 3:00 before he finally goes in to lay down.  This afternoon was typical – The Negotiations started around 1:40 and concluded at 2:30 when we finally went in to prep for nap.  Included in the daily Negotiations is the toddler’s choice of “nap buddy”.  This has evolved from a time when he was ill and the only way to console him and get him to rest was to have someone cuddle with him.  Now, in order to take a nap, he must have someone to snuggle with.  Sometimes it is Mommy and sometimes it is Daddy.  Today, Daddy had already gone in to lay down.  He contracted the mother of all head colds and has been feeling terrible for two days.  The toddler was finishing up his lunch, and chose that time to make his opening move in The Negotiations.

Toddler: Are we going to take our nap?
Mommy: I don’t know about “we.”  You are going to take your nap.
Toddler: Are you going to come in and lay down with me?
(Mommy is distracted and doesn’t answer within the first four seconds.)
Toddler: I’ll take that as a “Yes”.

When a somewhat common phrase in adult communications issues forth from you child’s mouth, it causes you to stop and reflect on what you say during the course of the day and how much of it your child is really absorbing.  Needless to say, that process is terrifying.  You think of all the things that roll oh, so easily, off of your own tongue, and discover that, the same verbiage expressed by your offspring would be entirely mortifying.  You vow, then and there, that you will police yourself much better in the future.  You will be the parent that other parents aspire to be.  You will be the best role model you child could ever have.

I was in the middle of this reverie when my child tried to hop down off his chair after finishing his lunch.  In doing so, he caught his foot, and ended up falling.  It wasn’t a big fall, and he wasn’t hurt.  It was, however, enough for him to turn his head, glare at the chair and say, “dammit!”

Still going to try and police myself?  I’ll take that as a “Yes.”

When I started this blog, I was determined to follow the advice of countless writers before me: Write something every day.  I was on board.  I had willingly drunk the Kool-Aid and was writing daily.  Then life happened.  One of my favorite sayings is “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”  After the day I had yesterday, he must be ROFLHAO.

It all started very benignly.  I got up and went to work.  Now, some people might view this as a chore, but I work in a place where, at least once a day, I am laughing so hard I have to put effort into not peeing my pants.  Anyway, a situation came up at work and my boss needed someone to cover some additional hours, and I willingly volunteered.  Had a great day, but then, when I got home, I had two hours to try and get done all the things that I had planned to do in the five hours I originally had scheduled.  One downfall to being a perfectionist is that, if one is not sure that EVERYTHING is going to work perfectly, there is a tendency to procrastinate until the stars align and perfection is attainable.  This explains why my house is in a constant, fluctuating state of chaos.    So, rather than trying to achieve what I had originally intended, I put out a few fires and got things ready to go for the next event on the schedule – the spring concert at the school.

I love all my kids, but each has their own particular quirks that can sometimes drive me completely mental.  In order to make sure he arrived in time to prepare for the concert, the performing son wanted to arrive an hour early.  The brooding son wanted nothing to do with the whole affair but was attending under duress, and the toddler cared only that he was getting to ride in the car.  Sitting quietly and waiting for the concert to start was an absolute impossibility for a 3-year-old. He only wanted to RUN!  He could not even be dissuaded by the DS, so I ended up watching him circle the cafeteria at breakneck speed, hoping he wouldn’t splat face first into the tile.  (I was lucky, this time.)  The brooder wandered aimlessly waiting for the concert to start, constantly texting with his friends.  During the concert was another story.  Three trips to the potty, two suckers from Grandma, and fruit snack and dry Cookie Crisp cereal kept the toddler mildly amused.  The rest of the time was devoted to seat dancing!  The brooder, in the meantime, kept excusing himself to also “go to the restroom.”  On our third trip back from the potty, the toddler and I saw him in the lobby of the auditorium, phone in hand and thumbs flying.  Oh, well.

Anyway, by the time we left school, picked up dinner, came home, and ate, it was time to prep the toddler for bed.  As he and I were putting on pajamas and brushing teeth, my husband came into the room.  Now, my husband has also been working on a little writing project of his own, and has been very devout about spending time each day writing.  He mentioned that he had not yet written, but that he was expecting to be able to do so once the boy and I had both gone to bed and the house would be quiet.  I replied that I, also, had not written yet, but that, along with the to-do list still waiting to be completed from the afternoon, my little blog was going to go a day without an entry.  And once again, the perfectionist in me popped up and said, “Self, you could just run out to the laptop and put in ANYTHING, and then you could sleep soundly, knowing that your streak has not ended.”  I told the perfectionist in me to STFU – I was going to bed!  I hope the warmth I am feeling is just summer coming on!